


Of Burning and Honesty

by Penny_and_her_thoughts



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale thinks too much sometimes, I needed to sleep but this happened, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Look I think it's just tender and nice and I like it, M/M, Mostly Aziraphale thinking, My First Work in This Fandom, My first finished work ever actually, Not a lot of dialogue though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 23:39:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penny_and_her_thoughts/pseuds/Penny_and_her_thoughts
Summary: A brief story wherein Aziraphale doesn't find himself burning, is finally honest with himself, and decides that everything is just as it should be.





	Of Burning and Honesty

The first thing he noticed, when he came to his senses, was that he wasn’t burning. For some reason he had truly expected to be burning, to at least have been smote, just a little. His eyes were closed though, so if there had been someone waiting to smite him he wouldn’t have been able to see it coming anyways. But there wasn’t anyone waiting, and he hadn’t been smote or burned or anything of the sort.

This is not to say he didn’t feel at least a bit like he was on fire. It was nice though, like every single cell in this body had been awoken with a single sharp movement and was now paying very close attention to what was going on. He rather enjoyed this, to be honest with himself. And that too was a surprise. Both that he enjoyed this, and that he was being honest with himself. It seemed to him that he had been lying to himself for at least seventy years now on purpose, and for likely hundreds of years before that as well. This was to be expected. The kind of life he lived it didn’t do to be distracted, and honesty in this form would have been awfully distracting. Besides, if lying was the lesser of the two sins, well, he would just have to compromise. Although now, being honest didn’t feel quite as sinful as he had thought it might.

Shifting just a little to better appreciate the attention his cells were giving to the situation, he considered just what it was that brought him to this moment. There was a whole string of circumstances and events he supposed, but it likely did begin with that unasked for generosity and the first small lie. Looking back on it all he had to admit to himself that he really did think it was all for the best. Maybe it was just that string of events that led him to not be burning. Perhaps if he didn’t go to Edinburg that one time, or if he didn’t have drinks at that pub in Strasbourg that one day, or if he didn’t answer the telephone that one night, things would be different and he would be burning. Or perhaps this whole thing wouldn’t be happening and he wouldn’t be anywhere near anything that might burn him. But the important part of this situation is that everything did lead to here, and he wasn’t burning (not in the painful, life ending way at least), and he was being honest with himself.

It was more than that too. He wasn’t just being honest, it would appear that he was done lying as well. The two things intertwine and link, but are very different, and the fact that he made the distinction was impressive. All of this was impressive, truly.

His eyes were still closed, and though a part of him called for him to open them, he left them closed for just a moment longer. He was terribly afraid that if he opened his eyes the lovely warm, awake feeling in his body would simply go out like a light. He settled instead for a small contented sigh, feeling everything shift and focus on this small action. He could feel some of the tension roll off of him as he got over the initial shock, and fully relaxed into the feeling. He’d never done well with feelings before- they were altogether too messy and complex for him in general- but if this was how it felt, then perhaps he had been remiss in trying to stay so impartial. Not to mention that clearly this impartiality had not kept him from having emotions, merely allowing him to shove them indelicately aside. No wonder that didn’t work to be rid of them, it was a terribly sloppy way to address something, especially something as pressing as what he felt. What he felt then, what he had been feeling since, and what he was feeling now, as he was distinctively not burning.

Head Office would have something to say about this. They always did, and he was a bit worried about what this whole thing would mean, but for the moment he let those thoughts slide like silk over the edge of a seamstresses table, smoothly away from the focus of the moment. Even if Head Office did have things to say, as he was sure they would, he would definitely have backup in one form or another. At the least he would have company to help him recover. If Head Office even knew. It’s not like he was intending to send a memo, and honestly if they hadn’t noticed something brewing then that was their own fault for being unobservant. Of course, he couldn’t truly in good faith blame them for being unobservant. It’s not like he even realized until relatively recently something had been brewing. Not to mention that he had taken great pains over the centuries to ensure that he was, if not above reproach, then at least not under constant scrutiny. He had done a fairly good job of it too, keeping a good balance. Maybe it was alright then, to forget them for the moment. It’s not like there wasn’t something far more pressing happening now.

Yes, he thought to himself, best to think of all that later. In this moment he really ought to be focusing on the pleasant, burning, _awake_ feeling in his body, and the situation that had caused it. He shifted again, a little farther than before.

“Angel?” The voice was quiet, more tender than he remembered from some years ago. It wasn’t what one could call strictly worried, but there was an undertone of nerves that ran below the word that melted his heart.

“Yes?” He could only just manage a sound slightly above a whisper. He opened his eyes, pleased to discover that the lovely warmth within did not disappear as he had feared, and looked deep into those serpentine eyes so close to his own.

“Are you alright? Is this still okay?”

He smiled, watching as the serpentine eyes betrayed a sense of relief, and felt the other man shaped being relax, if only a little.

“Yes My Love. Everything is just as it should be.”

They embraced again, the angel lighting up once more, and the demon felt himself soften just that little bit further.

Yes, thought the angel. I truly do believe that everything is just as it should be.

Finally.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was tired and apparently couldn't sleep until my brain spat out Aziraphale's thoughts onto a page. I'm pretty proud of this though, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
